Gone Forever
by charl88
Summary: Ryan watches his boyfriend speak his last words before he dies. How did Troy end up in the hospital and why was Ryan mad at him to start with? TRYAN


**Gone Forever**

**_((A/N – I thought I would try and write a sad one-shot that has Troy dying in it. One rule broken. Anyways I spent a couple of hours thinking this up and I think that it has worked pretty well. I cried writing in and then reading it. Man I get too emotional. Anyways please R and R and let me know what you think. Disclaimer: I don't own HSM unfortunately. I wish I did but I don't. Written in Ryan P.O.V))_**

I watched my boyfriend's lifeless body through the flood of tears that were streaming down my face. I couldn't believe that this had happened. Why did he have to go and do something stupid like that? Troy, my Troy was stuck in hospital fighting for his life. I didn't want to believe that this was happening. I was dreaming. Yeah that's right. I was dreaming. I would wake up next to Troy with his arms wrapped around me tightly. I took another quick look at Troy and realised that this wasn't a dream. Troy really was in hospital, connected to machines fighting for his life.

I cried hard. "Troy" I cried out. I just wanted him to wake up. I needed him. I couldn't imagine living my life without him. I know that we were only 17 and we had only been dating for 11 months but I knew that he was the one. The one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. To grow old with. He was my first proper relationship, my first proper boyfriend. I gave everything to Troy. I gave myself to him. I lost my virginity to him and he lost his to me.

I heard him moan softly and I looked at him "Ryan?" he said quietly. "Troy?" I held his hand tightly. "Troy baby. Can you hear me?" I wiped away the tears that had started to re-form in my eyes and climbed into the bed next to him "Troy please answer me" I needed him to reply. I wouldn't let him leave me. He was my whole life, I wasn't about to let him slip through my fingers so easily.

"Ry-Ryan?" he coughed. I looked at him and saw that he was opening his eyes slowly. I smiled weakly and I felt my heart miss a beat when I heard him calling out my name. I hugged him softly and I could feel his weak body against mine. It felt so good to have him in my arms again.

"Yeah baby I'm here" I kissed his forehead gently and stroked his cheek. He was in really bad shape. He was pale, completely drained and he had quite a lot of cuts and bruises covering his body. He had also lost quite a large amount of blood during the accident. I still couldn't believe that he had driven his car into a tree. I knew why he had done it, he knew that I knew and that's why he had done it.

I had gone to his house one night whilst his parents were away to surprise him and I had caught him and Jason having sex. I went and waited downstairs hoping that he would explain but he didn't. As soon as he came downstairs he knew that I knew what had happened so he grabbed his coat and left with Jason. I couldn't believe it. When I had discovered them I felt my heart breaking in two. He had told me that he loved me and I had believed him and then he went and cheated on me with Jason. Jason bloody Smith of all people. I remember going to school the next day and noticing that he wasn't there. I wondered why. As soon as I got home I soon found out why Troy wasn't at school that day and that hurt me even more.

**FLASHBACK**

_I came home from school and I saw a note lying on the floor. Obviously Sharpay wasn't home yet or she would've collected the post. I noticed that the letter was from Troy. I was hesitant at first about reading it but I decided that I would just go ahead and see what he had to say. I knew that it would be an apology letter. Well I hoped that it would be an apology. I opened the envelope and read the letter that was inside:_

_Dear Ryan,_

_We both know what happened the other night when you came to mine so I'm not going to bother making excuses for it. Yes I slept with Jason but I swear that was the first time that that had happened. I don't even know why it happened. It just did. I didn't mean to hurt you Ryan, I truly didn't but I know that I have. I'm not even going to ask to be forgiven because I know that you wont. Not now. I screwed up Ry; I know I did so I'm going to do the one thing that will make everything better._

_Just remember Ryan baby, that in life and in death I will always love you and I will always be watching over you._

_Love Troy_

_Xxxx_

_The thoughts that were running through my mind as I read the letter were uncountable. I re-read the letter and realised what he meant. He was going to kill himself so he wouldn't keep hurting me. I felt a lump appear in my throat and I grabbed my jacket and left the house as fast as I could. I jumped back into my car and sped off in the direction of Troy's. However on the way there I noticed that Troy's car had been smashed into a tree. I got out going and seeing what had happened. 'Please don't let Troy have been in there, please' but my prayers became unanswered and my worst nightmare had become true when I noticed Troy being lifted into an ambulance. I sped after the ambulance to get to the hospital not wanting to think about what would happen to him._

**END FLASHBACK**

"Ryan I'm so sorry" he whispered. It made my heart bleed seeing him like this. I could see that he wanted to cry and that made me cry harder. I couldn't bear to see my baby in pain. All thoughts of him cheating were pushed to the back of my mind as I thought about him getting better and coming back home.

Maybe if we had talked about what had happened then maybe this wouldn't have happened. What if I had shouted at him and made him stay. What if I hadn't gone over that night? What if I called him when I realised that he wasn't in school. All these 'What Ifs' were running through my mind? They didn't really matter at the moment, I knew that but they were the only things that were helping me to stay strong for Troy.

"Shhh Troy" I placed a finger upon his lips. They were so cold that it actually sent a shiver down my spine and I shuddered slightly "Save your energy you're too weak" Troy shook his head I didn't see the point in arguing. I knew that I wouldn't win even with him in this state.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you Ryan. I'm so so sorry"

"Troy it doesn't matter now. I forgive you"

"Yes it does Ryan. I hurt you and I deserved everything that happened to me" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He didn't deserve it. Yeah he had hurt me but killing himself wasn't the answer. It never was.

"Troy baby please don't say that. I know that you're sorry and I forgive you. Please don't die Troy please don't die. I need you. I love you"

"I love you too Ryan" I replied as I leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. He kissed back weakly and placed a hand upon my knee. However I soon felt him drift away as his hand fell from my knee and he pulled away from the kiss. His eyes began closing and I held onto his hand tightly "Please don't go Troy, please" the last words that Troy ever spoke were "Ryan" before he drifted away from me forever.

""

I looked at the machine and I cried harder than I had ever cried. I held his lifeless body in my arms "Please come back to me Troy please. I can't live without you. I need you. Please Troy, please come back" I rocked back and fourth gently. I never wanted to leave because I knew that when I left this room I would have to start a new life. A life without Troy. And a life without Troy is a life not worth living.

""

God I hate that machine. I know he's dead you don't have to keep bloody reminding me of the fact. I kissed the top of his head and whispered

"I love you Troy. I never told you how much but I loved you so much. I'll see you again some day babe. I know I will. I know that you will be waiting for me when it's my time and we will be reunited"

I climbed off the bed and took one more look at his body. "I love you Troy" I whispered "Forever" I went and switched off the machine. This was the end. Troy, my Troy was gone.

Gone Forever.

**_((Well that was it. Let me know what you guys think. I was thinking about doing a one-shot sequel where Ryan dies a year later and he and Troy are finally reunited after a painful and lonely year. Let me know if you want me to do this and then I will get that started))_**


End file.
